


Cas Was My Angel

by fandom_of_letters



Series: One-Shots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 10:52:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4301967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_of_letters/pseuds/fandom_of_letters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was the damsel in distress and Castiel was his knight in shining amour. Who can’t fall in love with their knight in shining amour?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cas Was My Angel

Sometimes you don’t know what you have until you lose. It’s like one day, you’re enjoying your bag of potato chips and then you reach in the bag again and they’re all gone. Of course, you’re a little sad, but you get your lazy ass of the couch, go to the cupboard and get a different bag. But then you realize that you don’t have anymore and it might take some more to fix your problem then you thought.  
Which was the case with Dean. And I know what you’re thinking, I don’t come here to read about potato chips. You’re right, you clicked on this story because it looked like a good story to pass time waiting for the dentist, or on a long car drive. But this story is not at all light hearted. It’s the story about how Dean lost the love of his life. So if that’s not for you I suggest you press the back button and continue your search.  
Dean fell in love like someone gets hit by a train, or in other words, very, very hard. Castiel walked into his life unexpectedly and at the lowest point in Dean’s life. Dean had just lost his girlfriend, Lisa, and his son, Ben, and then lost his job at the FBI. Now he was working at an auto-repair shop, getting paid a crap wage, getting drunk off his ass every other night, and fucking every girl that would talk to him. He smelled terrible and he probably looked even worse, but there Castiel was, on one of his worst nights, no doubt, willing to drive with him home just to make sure he got home okay. Can you imagine it? A dude who looks more than homeless, sitting at a bar by himself, and a man who is very successful and should not be seen with someone like Dean, making sure that the man didn’t get alcohol poisoning and got home safe.  
In other words, Dean was the damsel in distress and Castiel was his knight in shining amour. Who can’t fall in love with their knight in shining amour? Not to mention Cas made him respectable again, bought him suits, got him job interviews, and gave him a reason to live again. Imagine yourself in Dean’s shoes, and the love of your life picking up the pieces of your shattered life and making something out of it.  
But you didn’t come here for backstory either did you? You came here because I came up with a hooking title and the summary made you have a fangirl moment or whatever. But every sad story requires a back story. So pay attention.  
For Dean, falling in love was like trying to navigate the New York subway system. You get on thinking that it will take you to the place you need go, but eventually you get lost and you find yourself somewhere where you never thought you’d be. You’re scared at first, but then you find out it’s not so bad after all. You found something new and you find yourself coming back to it because you enjoy it. And that destination that you were going to before you got lost means nothing because you found something better.  
Another thing Dean didn’t expect is how much it would hurt to fall in love. He would long for Cas’s touch when he was at work. His heart would ache when he went to bed and Cas wasn’t there next to him. Whenever they were apart, Dean would hurt so badly and he knew that he’d never want anyone as much as he wanted Cas. Not even Lisa, who birthed his only child, could give him as much happiness and pleasure that Cas made him feel.   
A few months into their relationship, Dean finally got another job at the local police department as a desk worker, a step down from the FBI, but a job to get the bills paid, nonetheless. He worked his way up through the ranks quickly and made detective before he could even blink. He was making good pay and he finally had enough money to make sure that Cas never left him.  
He proposed on Cas’s birthday, two years after they had met. He dressed in his best suit and took Cas to the most expensive restaurant in town. They laughed, they ate, they drank wine, they ate pie, they held hands. Then came the time for Dean to ask Cas to be his forever. He gave some speech about how much he loved Cas and how he never wanted to be without him ever again a day in his life. That speech isn’t what is important now, what’s important is the love Dean and Cas share.  
Their wedding was simple. Dean was wearing a blue tie and Cas was wearing a green tie. They wrote their own vows and both said them with tears in their eyes. They danced all night and when they got to their hotel room they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.  
If you walked by Dean and Cas on the street, you could tell that they’re in love, you could tell just by the way the walk together. Dean walks a little behind Cas, almost like he’s protecting him. Cas leans into Dean, no matter where he is, almost as if he is drawn to Dean like a magnet. The fall together like puzzle pieces, cooking, cleaning, even sex is natural to them. They have established routines without even meaning too. Dean wakes up first on weekdays, puts on a pot of coffee, and makes eggs for the two of them. On the weekends, when Dean is exhausted from a weeks worth of cases, Cas wakes up first and makes waffles and bacon, usually waking Dean with the smell.  
Four years into their perfect marriage, they decided they wanted kids. Jo volunteered to be their surrogate. She was irritable and needy during the pregnancy, but nine months later it was totally worth it. They were blessed with a little girl, which they named Mary, after Dean’s deceased mother. She was a cute little baby, with Dean’s green eyes and Cas’s dark hair.  
She was also very stubborn. Her first day of kindergarten was not only difficult for Dean and Cas, but for Mary too. She didn’t want to leave Daddy and Papa. She wanted to go to the park and have pie. But eventually, they got her out of the car and into her classroom. Dean and Cas were nervous for obvious reasons. Mary had “two daddies” and some people aren’t as accepting as others.  
But she soon had a best friend named Olivia. They had sleepovers every other weekend and by the time kindergarten was over, they were inseparable. Olivia’s parents were very accepting of their lifestyle and they quickly became friends with Cas and Dean. They also had an older daughter who would babysit the two girls when they went on double dates with Cas and Dean. Olivia’s parents soon became people they would trust with anything.  
Being a parent was a lot like falling in love in some ways. You constantly worry about your child and want them to be as happy as you can make them. They went to Disney World, took a trip to the Mall of America, and even went to Worlds of Fun in Kansas City when Olivia had a Friday off from school. Lawrence, Cas decided, was the best place to raise a child.  
Now, I know what you’re thinking. I’m stalling, just get on with the story already. But moments like the ones I mentioned are precious. You don’t know that until your reality comes crashing down around you. You take advantage of everything you love and when you lose it, you’re lost.  
It was a Friday afternoon, Dean was up to his elbows in paperwork, and he just wanted to go home and cuddle with Cas. Mary was at Olivia’s and Dean and Cas were free to do whatever they wanted. He thought about taking Cas out on a date but the more the day went on, the more he just wanted to stay home.   
Just as he was finishing the last of his paperwork, Benny, his secretary, knocks on his office door. He walks in without a reply, like usual, but approached Dean with caution.  
“Benny, please make whatever you’re afraid to say quick. I’m almost done with this report and I’m itching to get home to Cas.”  
“That’s actually what I need to talk to you about.” Benny says softly and Dean freezes. Dean knows Benny only knows for one reason.  
“What about Cas, Benny? What happened to my angel?”  
“He was in an accident. He’s in the hospital. I’m going to drive you there, okay? Boss says you don’t have to finish your paperwork right now.”  
“Yeah,” Dean says, a little shaky, “Let’s go.”  
They ride to hospital in silence and Benny guides him through the hospital. Dean only gets put off when Benny leads them past the urgent care ward and down to one of the bottom floors.  
“Benny, why are we here? Why are we in the morgue?” Dean asks, knowing the answers, but asking anyway. Tears are starting to form in Dean’s eye but he refuses to let them fall.  
The mortician is standing there with a long face. Dean’s heart is beating in his throat. He wishes to God this is a dream. It can’t be real. This can’t be happening.  
“Mr. Winchester, thanking you for coming down here today.” the mortician says.  
“I need to identify a body?” Dean voice cracks as he says it. Wake up, Dean. Come on, wake up! This can’t be real.  
“Yes, please follow me.” The mortician pulls out a shelf and pulls back the sheet. Under the sheet is Cas. His eyes are closed so it looks like he’s sleeping. Dean is still convinced that he is. The color in his face is still there. He looks just like normal, just cuts and bruises all over his face. Dean pulls his hand out from underneath the sheet and curls Cas’s fingers around his, they’re still warm.  
“Hey, Cas.” Dean whispers. “I was thinking we could just stay in tonight, maybe watch that movie you were telling me about last night. I thought about getting a frozen pizza and some beer, sound good?” Dean waits for a reply.  
“Cas, baby, you need to wake up. You’re taking Mary to dance class tomorrow because I have that meeting with Dave.”  
Dean drops Cas’s hand and cups his face. He brushes his lips gently over Cas’s, the way that always wakes him up. When that doesn’t work, Dean kisses him, praying to God that this is some practical joke and Cas will wake up and they can go home and have pizza and beer.  
“Angel, please don’t leave me. I need you, baby. Remember the first time we met and I told you have no reason to live? Then at our wedding, during our vows, I told you that I can’t live without you. I meant it, babe, I don’t know what to do without you so please wake up.”  
“Mr. Winchester, I hate to ask this of you but I need to. Do you identify this man as Castiel Winchester?” the mortician asks.  
“Yeah, but this is my Cas, but why isn’t he waking up?”  
“Dean, I’m sorry for your loss. He was hit by a drunk driver, dead on impact. I’m sorry, Dean.” Benny says.  
“No, Benny, he’s asleep. Look at him. I know my Cas and that’s how he sleeps.”   
“Dean…”  
“Benny, no. He’s my world. I can’t live without him. Now stop playing and tell Cas he can wake up now. I’m not laughing anymore.” Dean says. Tears are streaming on his face and onto the sheet that his above Cas.  
“Let me take you home, buddy. I’ll get you a pie and we can talk about it, okay?”  
“I’m not going home without Cas! Oh god, what do I tell Mary? How do I tell a 6 year old that her papa isn’t coming home? How can I raise a kid on my own? I can’t do this Benny! I can’t be a parent by myself! We were supposed to be in this together! That’s what I agreed to!”  
“Dean, calm down buddy. Let’s get you home.” Benny says, putting one of Dean’s arm around his shoulder and carries him out of the hospital. At home, Dean is in a daze, not aware of this surroundings. He looks over at Cas’s chair. He keeps waiting for him to walk in the door and tell him that he was sorry that he was late and that the traffic on I35 was shit.  
But that never does happen. Cas never comes to sit in his chair. Eventually, but slowly, Dean starts to come back to reality after a few weeks. Mary stays with Olivia during that time and Olivia’s parents take her to Cas’s funeral. They attend as well. Dean soon realize that he has to pull himself together, for Mary’s sake. He doesn’t want to become his father. He also doesn’t want to go to the place he was at when he met Cas. He promised Cas that he would help raise Mary and that’s what he was going to do. He was going to raise Mary to be just like Cas, kind and gentle.   
One day, when Mary is older, she will ask about the man in the picture on the mantle. This is what Dean will tell her:  
“That’s your papa. He died when you were little. He was the love of my life and I was so broken when he died. You probably don’t remember him very well. But he loved you with all his heart. I figured out, when I was broken, that the people you love never actually leave you. They stick with you forever. Cas was my angel and I know he is watching over us right now.”


End file.
